Yesterday, while on the way to Sam’s in Antioch, I noticed this VW Beetle get on the interstate right behind me. I mean, one second there was nothing there, then this Bug is in my rear-view mirror. It kind of startled me.

So, I’m going out I 440 East, about the only one doing anything close to the (ridiculously slow) 55 mph speed limit.  The VW decides to pass me (getting passed on the left for a change). I glance over to my left as the car pulls up beside me, and notice that the female driver isn’t holding onto the steering wheel; she’s looking down at her phone typing out a text message!

I had heard of people doing this, but I’ve never actually seen it. As she continued to pull ahead, you could tell that her mind (I’m being generous here in assuming she has one) wasn’t on driving. She was over the yellow line several times, enough so that if a cop were behind her he’d have probable cause to pull her over.

Back in the late 80’s (or maybe early 90’s) I had a chance to see the comedian Gallagher. He had an interesting idea: every driver gets a gun that shoots stoppers with a “Stupid” flag on them. So, as you’re going down the highway, minding your own business, and some idiot pulls out in front of you, you shoot him with the stopper gun. If the police see anyone with three “Stupid” stoppers, they pull them over and issue them a ticket for driving while stupid.

I’d back that law.